


After

by gabsmatos



Category: Gorillaz
Genre: Angst, Inspired by Roleplay/Roleplay Adaptation, M/M, Phase Five (Gorillaz), Roleplay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-28
Updated: 2018-10-28
Packaged: 2019-08-09 02:21:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16441178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gabsmatos/pseuds/gabsmatos
Summary: What would happen when Murdoc comes home after being in prison?The reencounter no one asked for.





	After

Murdoc entered his own room and locked the door after the singer did the same. "Go on I'm listening." He said emotionless sitting on the bed looking at him. The Satanist didn't know what to say at all but they had to solve this huge problem after he came home from prison. "Be honest so I'll be honest with you. And I won't hit you, you have my word, 2D" he warned.

2D didn’t want to be honest with Murdoc because he was afraid. But now that the bassist said he wouldn’t hit him, what was there to be afraid of? “You’re an asshole,” 2D stated very bluntly. “You’re an asshole and I fucking hate you.” The singer balled his hands into fists once more. He so wanted to punch Murdoc in the face for all of his lies, his avoidance, his selfishness and his self-pity. “Everything has always gotta be about you. Mu’doc Niccals. Always.” 2D went on to say. “But what about me!?” He then yelled at him, furrowing his thick brows at the Satanist. “What about MY feelings, Muds? What about what I want?” He was sitting in front of him, really close.

Murdoc raised a brow "Yeah you're right. I'm a bloody piece of shit ... I know that since I was a child, 2D. And you had received all the attention and the news were all about you the last what? 8 months? Yea all the fame, money, chicks and blokes while I was in jail. Want more attention than you got?" He folded his arms.

He noticed he was shaking in anger "Wanna hit me .?.. c'mon you can do it, maybe it would make you feel better since you _hate me_ " he said with a emotionless voice. A bit hurt hearing he hated him.

There it was again. That same emotionless tone with that same emotionless facial expression. God, Stuart was sure he could feel the blood in his veins boil. He was so angry. So fucking angry. And then Murdoc decided to go and encourage him, like 2D didn’t already want to hit him.

Without thinking before carrying out his actions, Stuart full on raised his fist and swung forcefully. He right-hooked Murdoc straight in the face. He didn’t even care if the Satanist hit him back. He was too furious to feel a thing right now anyway.

“Fuck you” he spat out, shoving the man afterwards. He had to admit, punching Murdoc in the face made him feel a lot better, but he still wanted to hit him again.

Murdoc wasn’t expecting that punch. Not at all. He knew he deserved. He turned his face back to him his lower lip bleeding with a deep cut in it. He just looked to Stuart unable to speak or react.

He would much prefer when his father locked him outside when it was a blizzard out there than see his best mate hating him. To complete that was that shove. That really hurt. The singer turned into him when he was out. Cocky, angry, self-centered... He took a deep breath and wiped his blood. He promised he would change once he was home so he didn’t say a word and didn’t fight back.

“Why ain’t you saying anything you tosser!?” 2D yelled at him, scowling. “C’mon! You said you’d be honest with me, so go ahead.”

The singer wasn’t thinking straight. He was taken over by anger and rage; frustration and fury; hurt and despair. There were so many emotions, he couldn’t put a stop to them. Not even his pills could.

Murdoc remembered the time when his father used to say those words, to tease him. normally when he opened his mouth to respond anything he received a punch so hard he would faint. He blinked twice to avoid those thoughts.

"I dunno what to say Stu. You're mad at me... I deserved that. I'm letting you do what you need. You hate me don’t you?" He said in a low tone. His father hated him too. And now Stuart. He felt like dying now. "So that's okay." he looked at him and he could swear he saw himself, angry, mad, red... that face didn’t fit his adorable and kind hearted singer. How did Murdoc made all this mess?

Stuart’s tensed face seemed to soften as Murdoc spoke to him. He was still very angry, of course. But now that he had punched the bassist, shoved him and yelled at him, he felt his blood cooling down. So instead, his white, now black orbs leaked tears — his eyes usually changed from black to white when he felt strong emotions.

The bluenette’s high was coming to a low. He was so furious one minute and now he was crying. God, he felt pathetic. But all of these negative emotions were because of Murdoc. Why after all these years did Stuart still let the green-man get to him like that? Hasn’t he learnt?

Murdoc sighed... after huge fights Stuart would usually break down. He just looked at his singer and opened his arms inviting him for a hug. He wiped his mouth again as the blood was already dripping. He felt sad, empty almost.

This time he didn’t yelled at Stuart he didn’t punch him... he let the singer treat himself just like he did for twenty years, savoring his own poison. It sucked. Was cruel and he knew he deserved. "C'mere Stu..." He said lowly and broken. He was really hurt and not all alcohol in the world would help him now

Stuart tried to wipe his tears away, but they kept balling from his eyes. His cheeks were wet and so was the ends of his sleeves where he had tried hiding his face away. But there was no point in that now. Murdoc already knew he was crying.

After hearing the man’s invitation for a hug, 2D slowly stepped towards him and buried himself into Murdoc’s arms. He cried harder now, unable to control himself. He hated when they argued. He hated the fights. But he knew for sure he didn’t really hate the Satanist. “I’m sorry,” 2D apologized, crying into Murdoc’s shoulder.

Murdoc had the same behavior when he drank too much. He would yell, curse punch and then apologize with Stuart, after giving him a black eye, bleeding laying on the floor and almost fainting after being beaten. And well the singer always forgave him. The difference was that Stuart did that sober... Murdoc needed alcohol to let his feelings out.

He gently held him and put a hand on his hair caressing it... Murdoc was really surprised he didn’t shed a tear. Was like something was blocking it. "Let it all out Stu..." he sat in another position placing Stu on his lap keeping him close trying to calm him down.

The blue boy continued to cry his tears into Murdoc’s shoulder. He held onto the bassist like his life depended on it. He needed some comfort and on another level, he needed Murdoc. “I’m so sorry...” 2D apologized again, about everything includint the punch weakly this time and did so in a breath. He couldn’t believe he had punched the bass player in the face, causing his lip to bleed like that. But, he deserved it. Besides, he beat on the singer all the time. Wasn’t it time for a little payback? Though, revenge was last on Stuart’s list right now.

He lifted his head up from Murdoc’s shoulder, still with tears streaming down his cheeks as he caught the man’s eye. 2D sniffled, not even bothering to wipe away his tears as he gazed at the Satanist. “I don’t hate you...” he finally said something, sounding a little calmer.

Murdoc looked at him "I know that... " He whispered going to his eyes to wipe his tears. "You're angry.... we say things we don’t mean when we're angry." He explained softly as he was talking to a child. Stuart knew that well, Murdoc was just like that. "Want to be honest about what you feel about me now...?" He encouraged the singer.

The singer bowed his head as Murdoc asked that question. He wanted to be honest, but he didn’t want to ruin the moment by saying something wrong. Though, what did he have to lose? Almost nothing, so it seemed.

“I love you,” 2D admitted, bringing his eyes back up to the bassist. “I dunno what it is Muds... But I just-“ he stopped, sighing out of frustration and shaking his head at himself. “I’m so sodding stupid...”

Murdoc smiled... "As I said... you were just angry” He told him while wiping his last tears. "You didn’t deserve that but.... I was afraid that when I got really drunk I'd hit you or something... And I couldn’t face you sober... I wasn’t ready" he told him honestly.

"Muds..." Stuart hesitated looking him trying to change the subject. "Are you taking a shower…?" He smiled softly sniffling a bit. He still smelled like the sewers. Murdoc didn’t take a shower when he reached home. He drank till he couldn’t remember his own name and passed out from it. On the next morning Stuart went to talk to him when he was less drunk.

"Oh, I should shouldn’t I?" Stuart didn’t mind if he would chose not to, he just wanted to be closer with his mate after so many time apart.

"Can I come along with you...?" he leaned closer wrapping his arms around him and scratching his stubbles a bit on his face. He knew Murdoc loved that.  "I missed this with you too..  actually a lot of things.. and I’d like to talk to you a bit while giving you a shower ... May I?" He asked blushing furiously. "After I let you rest .. if you're tired.". He and Murdoc used to be… something before all that happened.

"Sounds good, Stu." He agreed, mood lifting a little. Stuart stopped crying when he agreed. “I need to wash this lip”. He missed holding Stu close to him. He was so desperate to touch him when the singer visited in jail and it was heavenly to be doing that now. Remembering that moment he reached round to take Stu's hand and interlock Their fingers much like he wanted to if he could have reached through the glass back then. Murdoc was looking for support too as he felt a bit dizzy after that punch.

"God I missed you..." Stuart told him softly "I wanted to do this for a long while..." he hugged him tighter placing a hand on his hair and caressing. The other he squeezed his hand. He knew Murdoc had a thing about his hair but now it didn't matter. He kissed his neck and buried his face on the crook of it "Muds... don't you ever pretend you're dead okay... I dunno what would I’d do without you..."

"I'm sorry Bluebird... I was an asshole... I blew up this whole thing for attention and hurt you all... I just... it all went to my head.. " He held Stu close, letting him be soft and possessive. While carefully, letting himself be remorseful and emotional. "I owe you a lot Stu..."

Stuart chuckled "We own a lot each other, Muds... no problem _I forgive you_... " one more to the list of things Stuart forgave him for "There is not a day that I have not forgiven you for everything… “Just don't do it again... don't leave me alone again... please." He was better but getting emotional too... hearing Murdoc apologizing melted his heart. "Be an asshole but be _my_ asshole.. " he said joking and kissing him everywhere he could, especially on his sore cheek..

He chuckled tiredly, silently enjoying the kisses greatly in the state he was in.

"You got it Stu... I'll tell you exactly what happened while we're in the shower, how about that? Well, what I can remember at least..."

"Oh I'm really curious about that. I need a good explanation.. And did you remember bringing me something from Patagonia?" He asked going to the bathroom, helping Murdoc do the same and he was wobbly.  "You know how I looove souvenirs" he chuckled turning the shower on.

They usually traveled together most of the times, but when no, Stuart used to bring him some gift or something that reminded him of the Satanist. Murdoc followed him while stretching his back, whining a bit quiet the fact he was already achy.

"Uh.. well I got this rock I found that looked kind of cool.. At least I'm pretty sure it's a rock...oh! And I bought a demonic yak off a wizard! I called her Madonna. She's still in Patagonia though... Do you want her? ‘Cuz I can get her over here." He grinned. Mads had served him well in Patagonia and it was such a shame to leave her there.

Stuart looked at him confused... after smiling. Muds was eccentric but that... "So you wanna adopt a yak with me? A demonic one?" He would take that rock with all the love he got. Treasure it even. Stuart was really dumb sometimes... at least Murdoc remembered him even if it was just a rock... Sometimes he felt as clever as a rock. But it was a cool one… He shook his head "un-fucking-believable Mu'doc" he chuckled.

He entered the shower and invited him to do the same.

Murdoc shrugged and dropped his trousers before getting in.

"What? She's lovely! You'll love her. We shouldn't just leave her there alone, she must me missing uncle Murdie already!" He joked, his arms starting to wave around a bit as he got more energy back. “Guess is that I want… adopt a yak…” Stuart laughed, Murdoc was still the bastard he knew. Maybe time in jail changed him.

"Deal... do you know what a yak eat by the way?" Stuart chuckled finding everything amazing "And how did she save you? Oh God we could take her to shows.  Fans will love her!" Stuart was really dumb sometimes but he liked the idea of another mascot for Gorillaz "C'mon mate water is perfect..."

Murdoc got into the water stream, albeit a little reluctantly, letting the water run over him and his hair start to flatten and stick to his face.

"I think they eat hay and all that, I dunno. She may eat souls for all I know. We should just Google it."

Stuart shivered about eating souls.. "Let's Google it..." he agreed hugging him from behind and resting his head on his back. "Thank you…" he said about the yak and the rock... "So... how did you scape? And survived... the truth please..." he pressed his body close feeling home.

Murdoc took a deep breath and prepared to tell his story again. He hoped Stuart believed him this time because he was going to be as truthful as he could.

"Okay, so. I was arrested and all that but it was not for smuggling it was...uh... parking fines... and I also threw a shoe at a police officer. And tried to bribe everyone in court. It was honestly my fault the whole way, I admit that. But the fans started up the whole 'Free Murdoc' thing and it all got to my head and the next thing I know was I'm claiming I was falsely arrested for smuggling framed by some guy who's name I heard floating round the prison yard that sounded intimidating and didn't actually expect to be real!"

Stuart listened patiently. He sighed "Parking fines Murdoc? Really? You should have just paid them…. C’mon you have money..” Last times Murdoc was arrested were for good reasons at least “So Noodle went to the end of the world and almost died for _nothing_..?." He washed the Satanists hair "You're an asshole bigger than I thought..." he was trying not to laugh..  everything was just too unbelievable. Was Murdoc telling him the truth or just drunk?

"Hold on I'm getting there. So with all this in my head I decided to do a great escape, steal a phone and go down the sewer. Simple. Done it like – hmm - twice? Before. I was really desperate to break out. So, I did it the next day. Things went out of hand while I was messaging some fans on how to get out and everything started to flood." He shivered a bit at the memory.

"So there I was, in in a bunch of shit and gross water, drowning for what, headlines?! I realized what a fucking asshole I'd been in that moment. Noodle may die for my stupidity, you would be upset at what I'd done and my death. I genuinely thought I was gonna die but in the moments before I black out I say low this...thing...I have no idea what it was but when I come too I'm next to an auldi and a sewer drain, covered in shit but alive!"

Stuart's jaw fell. He was surprised, glad and impressed. All at same time... "Guess you're older and lost the notion...." Stuart wouldn't think about any of that alone... was a crazy and daring plan... but it worked at least.

He went out the water and looked at him "Continue Muds..." he tried to sound like he believed all that.

"Alright yes I get it, I'm old, don't have to remind me." He sulked, crossing his arms in defiance. He was aware of his age but he’s ego wouldn't  admit if he visually looked older or not.

"Well, I found myself able to get up and rush off to give myself a flannel wash so I wasn't caked in shit and then set off to go rescue Noodle since I'd sent her off on a quest to confront a possible dangerous villain. I got up to Patagonia and asked around the town at the bottom of the mountains where to find him.” He took another deep breath.

 “They all knew where he was but were too scared to take me there but a wage or wizard bloke or whatever was willing to sell me a demonic yak that would take me there. I asked him to tie me on and cover me with blankets and shit because I knew it'd be a long journey. Named her Madonna since she was a noble steed and that lady is very into me and set off. I dunno how long it took me to get under to Noodle but I was freezing, in and out of consciousness, dehydrated, starving and me parts were all getting so cold and stuff I thought they were going to snap off, including my _knob_!" He gestured to the body part dramatically. Quite pleased it was still there honestly "But I had to find Noodle, I couldn't let her die out there even if I died myself."

Stuart laughed hearing the knob part "Yeah Noodle seemed very worried about you... when I told her not to go after you she almost killed me... that girl really has you as a father... she didn't even know if you were there or alive but she insisted and went anyway alone..."

He shrugged "Guess she has no hard feelings about El Mañana or Plastic Beach at all..." he entered the water to rinse his hair "You're totally insane but... you’re family after all... a stinky part of it but yes..." he kissed him on the lips quickly.

"Yes I know. She's like my daughter. One thing I haven't totally fucked up” He wanted to make sure it stayed that way he reminisced, looking kind of spaced out and solemn. "Anyway, Mads took me to Noodle who had actually found El Mierda but he'd gone soft and started a spa in the middle of fucking nowhere. Noodle threw me in one of the hot springs to unfreeze me and was rightfully mad at me but she didn't beat me up so I'm taking that as she forgave me.” He shrugged. “We ate and replenished ourselves, slept and headed out the next day to the town on Madonna so we could get back to civilization. And I think that's it." He looked at Stu. “After that we took the plane here and I’m figuring out how to bring Mads to us…”

"So we were dying here thinking you were dead and you were in a fucking spa.. ?" He looked a bit annoyed but not really... "Well you should take me to the spa anytime... so I'd forgive you properly for all that..." he folded his arms. That was a really long story... much bigger than Stuart was thinking it'd would be.

"To be fair, I didn't have a phone and that night Noodle said she'd messaged to tell you all we were coming home. I didn't really get to use the spa really because we were in a rush to get home. I didn't really want to stay out there without seeing you all sooner rather than later...I...missed you" He bashfully admitted, lowering his head as he waterlogged hair covered his eyes. He felt a bit more vulnerable now.

Stuart smiled widely hearing he missed him, again... He loved to hear that. He pressed Murdoc against the cold wall of the shower hands on the sides of his head. He rubbed his nose against the bassist's "I’m really sorry about all ignoring you stuff... I was being a prick... I fucking missed you a lot... “ He closed his eyes being honest. He was taller than him so it was funny to see them both. His hands went to his neck and he looked at him deeply.

Murdoc flushed at the adorable affections he received while he was held against a wall, not really knowing what to do with himself or to say. He stared into Stu's deep black eyes and felt a weird sense of relaxation wash over him.

"You shouldn't be sorry about anything Stu... I deserved it really but I was too jealous and desperate for you I didn't want to admit it. Really, you should take something off me to punish me or something, you're feeling into my bad habits by forgiving me." He joked, his tongue slightly sticking out of his mouth.

"Guess I already punished you enough Muds..." He smiled remembering how he punched Murdoc. He placed a hand on his red face almost regretting what he had done.

"I'd forgive you till the world ends only to have you in my life..." He told him honestly. He loved hearing he was desperate for him and jealous, it made him feel special. "Please tell me again you missed me...." He leaned closer him rubbing his stubbles against his neck softly.

Murdoc chuckled lowly but was quick to comply with Stu's wishes for affections, wrapping his arms around the talker man and leaning his head to the side so Stu's could have his face against his neck comfortably. Satan did he love that feeling.

"I missed you my Bluebird. I love you with whatever is left of my heart and soul." It was much easier to say that when Stu's eyes weren't on him.

Stuart shivered feeling Murdoc that close telling him such sweet words. Stuart loved being called by that nickname Murdoc gave him. It always made him weak on the knees. He hugged him tightly feeling loved. All he wanted to feel. After some moments, he broke the hug and looked at him. "May I kiss you?" He whispered again as it was a question reasonable to make and bit his lip.

Stuart wasn’t turned on... he felt protected and warm, really glad Murdoc was there and still with him... It seemed he could even forget about the last eight months without him. Slowly his wounds were turning into scars and Murdoc was helping him through that even without knowing. He wanted to show the Satanist he could care about him in any situation.

The simple question struck something deep in Murdoc. It was a thing they'd some hundreds of times and yet 2D just asking for permission, showing he really wanted to, while they held each other in such a vulnerable position really touched him. He wasn't sure what came over him but tears broke out in his eyes and he held back a sob as he choked out.

"Yeah..yeah...please..."

Stuart leaned closer and kissed him. He felt his own overwhelmed feelings washing over him when he saw Murdoc breaking.

 He fight back his own tears and kissed him gently and passionately, the best way he could. Showing how much he missed him, all he felt towards the Satanist. His hands rested on his face now and he couldn’t tell what were tears what was water going down his face. He didn’t understand why Murdoc was crying but, he felt deep into his heart was relief. ‘Cuz he felt the same someway.

Murdoc laid his hands on Stu's hips and let his tears mix with the stream from the shower. He felt so loved in that moment that the happiness clashed with a sort of pain in his being that said he didn't deserve it.

He didn't deserve any of it. But he was going to make it so he deserved it. He was going to change into a man that deserved 2D and the band as well as all the love he was given. He was going to change into someone his dad never thought he could be.

 The mere thought of his father brought back a deep routed memory of him towering over a younger Murdoc, holding his cane over his head and telling him he'd never deserve anything in life. Even the bare minimum Murdoc believed he was going to get he wouldn't deserve, before the cane came down on his head and left him there to bleed. He pulled out of the kiss with a gasp, shaking and sobbing and clinging tightly to 2D, scared he would leave him there like that, vulnerable and crying.

Stuart rested his head on the crook of his neck crying himself. He felt so relieved after so many nights not sleeping, so much worry, so much pain with his best mate and lover away. He loved Murdoc since the very beginning.  An admiration that quickly became something bigger and sincere.

Now after so many years it felt like a dream he was still alive and still choosing him. He felt he was the luckiest man on earth. He placed a caring hand on the back of his head sobbing. His other hand held him by his back slowly pressing him a bit less against the wall and more into him, just hugging him, feeling how Murdoc was small, how he was shorter than him. It was one of the million things Stuart loved about the Satanist, his height that fit so well in a hug.

He managed to tell him something... anything... as he felt Murdoc was still really shaken and seemed scared. He would bury his head on his shoulder when he felt overwhelmed by something. Murdoc was holding him so tight like he would escape... that was odd for him. What was he thinking? Was he afraid of the singer?

"Muds... I..." he sucked a deep breath " _I love you_. I love you so much." he hugged him tighter. "You’re special for me, someone I really care and wish all the best in the world. A handsome, adorable and strong man. You're not alone and you deserve to be loved okay? All the love I can give you. Please let me be with you... show you everyday how much you mean to me... I know I'm not clever, I'm not amazing... I'm not beautiful, but I can give you my heart and my soul if that's what you want from me..." he sobbed.

"I can make you forget your past... you're not you father Muds... you have an incredible daughter, friends, a band... you have a _family_. You are a victory Mu'doc. You showed the whole world you could do it... and I'm so proud of the man you became..." He stopped choking with his tears. "You're really important to me, don’t ever leave me again, ever..."  he whispered softly, feeling drained but like a big burden he was carrying left his shoulders.

Murdoc couldn't answer, he was crying too hard, the words made him feel so much better but at the same time it made him cry more. He needed to get it out, you don't get to cry in jail.

 He kept his face hidden in the crook of Stu's neck and nodded, knowing that's all he could do. He was so overwhelmed with emotions he didn't know which exact ones he was feeling but he knew the main one had to be _love_. He silently promised to never leave again with all the will he had and moved his hand up to hold Stu's back over where his heart was from behind, feeling the singers heartbeat and using it to help him stay grounded in the moment and calm down. Stu was still with him. And he loved him.

Stuart never saw Murdoc on that state. So broken and vulnerable in twenty years. If Murdoc ever be this low in life he hid from Stuart. He couldn’t help but feel a bit bad for his mate... but he felt he needed to tell him all that. No one ever told him those words in life, he knew that.. he just hoped he believed.

Stuart began kissing his face silently, while caressing his hair telling him sweet nothings trying to calm him down. It was an ugly breakdown and Stuart felt blessed Murdoc chose him to do it in front of. He touched the Satanist like he was made of glass, rubbing his shoulders, his chest his arms. God he was so handsome... and he knew he loved him back. Murdoc was _his_. he lifted his face looking into his eyes and smiling.

_"I will always think about you_

_That's why I'm calling you back on my way through"_

He said in a low tone, just for him, smiling and sniffling, some more tears falling... his voice a bit hoarse from crying, staring deep into his eyes and brushing some of his black locks from his face.. another thing he loved about Murdoc, his hair was as dark as his own eyes.

Murdoc started to calm down as the affection was peppered all over his face and whispered to him as if it was just for him. He managed to get to a started where he was mainly just shaking and taking deep breaths, only occasional sobs choking out of his throat.

He immediately recognized the words as they were said to him and smiled weakly. He knew there was something about that song that got to him. He took a deep breath before he dared speak again, his voice horse and broken but just about there

"Could you...sing for me, Bluebird? ...please?" It besides kissing him, was one of Murdoc's favorite things to do with Stu. Hear him singing. He had chosen Stu and his voice for a reason all these years ago and he feel in love with his voice faster than he'd fallen in love with many things and that included alcohol.

Stuart smiled hearing his voice once again "Of course I can Muds... I'd love to." He kissed his forehead turning the shower off. "But now let me just take care of you huh? After I can sing anything you want... just for you." He poked his nose. Stuart grabbed his towel and began drying him silently. "I'll grab some of your clothes, it's cold outside." He warned not wanting him to be sick.

Stuart quickly chose a shirt he liked when Murdoc used it and his trousers together with a clean underwear. He dressed himself with the same clothes he was before. Waiting Murdoc to do the same. "I'll be here on your bedroom once you're done" He smiled kissing his lips and went to sit on his bed.

Murdoc watched move around and leave silently, silently agreeing to do as he'd asked in exchange for hearing his voice. He let the other look after him and do things for him, mostly  because he seemed to enjoy it, and even felt a small smile pull at his lips at the kiss. He knew he didn't deserve Stu but the happiness Stu got from having Murdoc was definitely something the singer deserved and that was good enough for him.

He pulled on the clothes he was given, didn't bother brushing his hair for now and lumbered out of the bathroom. He was able to walk and that was all that mattered, Murdoc felt even more sober now.

 He entered his room again and went straight up to Stu, wrapping his arms around him and burying his face in his chest or his back, he hadn't looked up to see which it was but he didn't care too much in the moment. He hadn't even looked to see what clothes he'd been given. He was mentally, physically and emotionally bloody exhausted so a lot of stuff had stopped computing with him at that point.

Stuart smiled when hugged. He was looking through the window absentmindedly at that moment and just said "Muds, my Muds..." when the Satanist came to him hugging him back. "C'mere" He said inviting him to sit on his lap. He thought that Murdoc would like some rest after all that.. "Are you tired, Muds?" He asked with a soft voice. "I could sing for you sleep..." He suggested as a lullaby or something.

that was a really sweet and bonding moment for both men, Stuart was so happy his mate asked him to sing after so many time unable to do that... He wanted to do that even if it was through the phone in prison. He loved the faces Murdoc make while hearing him singing. It made his heart melt and he fell in love once again.

Murdoc slipped onto Stu's lap, hiding his face into the singer's neck again and nodding

"Yeah..please...you can wake me if anything happens...I just need a nap  or summit..." He nuzzled into the other comfortably, holding onto Stu as he did, seeming a little afraid to let go. The idea of Stu singing him to sleep was so very cute. That made him want to ask the singer to do that every night, even if he didn't like the song he'd listen to Stu until he slept.

Stuart nodded to his ask "okay Muds... anything you want..." he sounded really happy "is there any song you want me to sing? Your favorite..." he held him going back and forth really slowly rubbing his back with care and kissing his wet hair. He smelled so nice now.

"I missed singing for you..." he confessed into his ear blushing a little.

Another thing Murdoc must not now is that as much as he loved hearing Stuart singing, the singer loved hear him strumming his bass in a low tone. It made him really relaxed and less tense when he was having a panic attack or sorta. When he couldn’t sleep too. Once he could record and hid the archive in his phone when Murdoc didn’t want or couldn’t play for him.

A calm purr stared in Murdoc's throat and he slowly started to relax in the singers arms. It made him feel so good about letting himself be this vulnerable to Stu just to hear the joy in his voice while he looked after him.

"That one from your new album.... That you said the words of in the shower... Soulk Eye..."

Stuart nodded. He closed his eyes and focused on that. The moment he was writing what he was feeling. Besides sorrow, now he could finally sing to Murdoc... the reason why he wrote that.

He began softly with his singing voice. That was so different from his speaking one. Much more soothe and softer.

 

_Waiting on a way to come find me, be forgiven_

_I'll be a regular guy for you_

_I never said I'd do that_

_Why do you look so beautiful to me_

_when you're so sad?_

 

Between each verse he kissed his temple and his hair..  Like a mother would hold her son to make him sleep..  he sang those parts whispering into his ear, just for him. He felt shivers while doing it... that moment was so... special for him. Stuart, for a moment imagined him holding young Murdoc as when he was a child, a scared and sad child that only want some attention. He hugged the Satanist as he was protecting him from all bad things... as there was just the two of them in whole world.

The gentle voice and the beautiful words were everything to Murdoc. He didn't think he'd ever felt so safe and trusting in one person in his entire life. A calm happiness swept over him, a gentle smile on his lips as he listened. He kept his eyes closed the entire time, letting his mind drift and imagine them together in beautiful nothingness like space and just the sound of 2D's voice filling everything. He slowly, by the last verse, slipped into sleep, the sound of the singer’s voice still running through his being and laid him into a gentle and deep slumber.

Stuart felt by the way the bassist suddenly felt heavier that he should have probably fell asleep. Murdoc needed to rest after everything he went through. He gently and really carefully placed him on the bed and slipped a pillow under his head. After that he looked for the blankets, it was raining outside already. He covered the bassist and kissed his lips tenderly.

Before leaving he left a note written on the nightstand. "Thanks for today. Love you. Your Bluebird" With his terrible calligraphy. Lastly he put the curtains on the window to prevent light and closed his door, feeling light as a feather.

Murdoc knows this album, this song, is for him. He Knows he’s been forgiven. He knows Stuart isn't going anywhere.

2D will always love his Twilight.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on [Tumblr](https://gabshmatos.tumblr.com)


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